Archive for category Food

Liberals reveal hidden puritanical streak. Again.



The latest political silliness, now from the Democrats, rivals the absurdity of conservative ‘birthers’ and Islamophobes .  This from Matt Lewis at Politics Daily:

While it’s impossible to know, some are beginning to speculate that Boehner’s penchant for turning on the waterworks might have some connection to his consumption of wine. Liberal MSNBC host Ed Shultz, half-jokingly, called Boehner a “cheap drunk” the other day, Capitol Hill aides of both parties are wondering, and there’s even a web page devoted to it.

For years, political professionals have quietly discussed Boehner’s drinking. Some have told me off the record that his mannerisms remind them of that of an alcoholic. So far, most of the public speculation having to do with the connection between drinking and Boehner’s crying has come from the left. In addition to Ed Shultz, liberal talk show host Randi Rhodes recently implied Boehner’s crying was due to his drinking. But the speculation is becoming more widespread. Earlier this year, Joe Scarborough noted of Boehner that “by 5 or 6 o’clock at night, you can see him at bars.

Well, that is the traditional time, Joe.  It’s called the cocktail hour.  And drinking in bars?!  Sinful!  I guess Boehner would feel more comfortable drinking behind closed doors, with the puritanical hypocrites.  Probably not.  And Randi Rhodes calling someone a drunk?  Talk about people who live in glass houses.

So is drinking the issue — and why might a person struggling with drinking be more prone to weeping in public?

Really? Is that the important question? I’m not too crazy about the recent spate of conservative histrionics but you’d think that liberal progressives would be a bit more accepting of a man’s emotional openness. I mean, aren’t we supposed to be overcoming our gender stereotypes? Maybe all the conservative rhetoric about the nanny-ness of liberals is not so far off.  Time to stop playing to the namby-pambies in the Democratic party and let adults decide for themselves if, and how much, they should drink.

As for blaming this new political emotionalism on alcohol consumption, tell that to Winston Churchill or John F. Kennedy, neither man likely to refuse a drink and neither man prone to silliness. In fact, I thought that cigars and whiskey were the main staples of a political diet (which, I guess, is one reasons why I am a frustrated amateur pundit). Besides, Glenn Beck will break down at the drop of a tricorn hat and he’s a teetotaler.

It’s bad enough that the neo-cons resort to this type of sensationalist rumor mongering, and I can understand the liberal media’s frustration with that, but this kind of foolishness can eclipse any credibility they might have. No longer will serious people  swallow any story at Fox News without a liberal dosing of salt because of this penchant for reporting on sensationalist non-news stories.

For his part, though, Boehner — who was described in one profile as “a heavy-smoking, hard-drinking former linebacker” — has made no secret of his affection for merlot, and those familiar with Capitol Hill know he frequents The Capitol Hill Club, as well as a favorite Italian restaurant on Capitol Hill, where he is frequently spotted sipping vino.

Good for him. I’m not likely to vote for Boehner but I probably would enjoy sharing a meal with him (but sorry, no Merlot, please).  Dinner without wine is no dinner at all (unless it’s brats or BBQ and then beer is essential).  I myself enjoy at least two glasses of wine with my evening meals and maybe a cocktail before and/or after.  And then I might smoke a nice big cigar.

I know this admission will horrify some of you, but I can’t remember the last time I cried, drove off a bridge, beat my wife or flew a plane into a mountainside.  My blood work just came back and my liver functions are all A-OK, thank you very much.

C’mon liberals. For folks who are always crowing about a personal right to privacy , it’s time to pull your noses out of peoples lives and let them eat, drink and smoke what they want.  Just like you want for your selves.  And as for you conservatives out there, I meant just that:  whatever they want, even if it’s not made by your friends over at Phillip Morris or Bacardi.

The first vice we should worry about is our unhealthy addiction to hypocrisy.

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Religion is to Absolute Truth as a Bloody Mary is to Absolut Vodka


When I get home from work my usual pick-me-up is to pour two fingers of blended scotch whiskey into a tall glass, add lots of ice and top it off with seltzer. Maybe a lemon wedge.  I like this with bourbon as well, with some bitters (to cut the sweetness of the bourbon).  But I wouldn’t do this with a good single malt like Glenfiddich or Balvenie (even if I could afford to). God forbid anyone should add ginger-ale or 7-Up! Save that for Seagrams 7.

On a hot day I might switch to a gin and tonic. Now, gins are infused with a number of fragrant botanicals, like anise and coriander but with juniper usually predominant.  In order to pick up market share lost in the vodka craze that started  twenty years ago, the gin distillers have marketed drier brands. Maybe this makes for a better martini, but these drier gins can be smothered by the quinine and lime of a gin ‘n’ tonic.  Again, here cheaper is better, with “lowly” Gordon’s gin considered by many as the perfect gin to marry with tonic.

Back in my restaurant days I used to get a perverse kick out of the bar customer who would order an extra spicy Bloody Mary and then call for a pricy boutique vodka like Chopin or Belvedere. I defy anyone to discern a vodka brand when it’s blended with tomato, horseradish, Worcestershire and Tabasco. You can sort of sense the vodka in there somewhere, but you really can’t taste it. But I’ll take the extra cash from the up-charge, thank you very much.

(Side note: I remember around 15 years ago when inexpensive Barton’s gin, our rail brand, came in seventh place in an international blind tasting of vodkas, well ahead of most of the new, expensive boutique brands.  To this day I keep a bottle in my freezer and have never disappointed a martini drinker who hoped to find a more ‘sophisticated’ vodka in the house.)

While sipping  on a good old Gordon’s gin’n’tonic  I might do some back yard grilling: I love to barbecue.  Few things taste better than slow roasted spice rubbed pork or beef, the fattier the better, crispy charred and dragged through a spicy tart tomato or mustard sauce.  Ribs, chops, shoulder butts, briskets – just about any cut of meat can be barbecued.  But you might not want to do this with a good filet or rib-eye. They are wonderful all by themselves.

So, what’s my point here?  Don’t be penny wise and pound foolish. Sometimes the less expensive is the best choice, especially when it comes to satisfying a strong thirst or hunger. Or when applied as an essential ingredient for a recipe. But at other, more special occasions, the rare and  dear will, and should,  stand alone.  When it comes to quality, simpler is usually better. The reason why we have barbecue (and classical French cooking) is a way to make less desirable (and perhaps not as ‘fresh’) cuts of meat tasty.

Most of us seem to understand this when it comes to cooking or bar tending.  The same concept is often applied to the finest of the arts.  It doesn’t mean that the subject in question is shallow or lacking in complexity; there is just no need to add-on to the original. We wouldn’t lay a drum machine beat onto Beethoven’s 5th, for example. (Well, most people wouldn’t.)  Or paint eye brows on the Mona Lisa.

So what’s with the layers and layers of doctrines and dogma that Christians have encumbered the faith with?  How did anyone ever function  (much less get saved and make it to Heaven) before they knew all these rules? Why did we feel like we had to ‘improve’ upon the original? It’s almost as if most of theology’s intent is like misplaced barbecue cookery or heavy-handed bar tending. Take the acquired taste of the absolute truth and hide it with the sweeter or spicier ingredients that appeal to the common palate. Or dilute it for easier drinking.  But sometimes, like adding grapefruit juice to your grappa or ketchup to your prime rib, the result is…just nasty.

You don’t put Coke in your Glenfiddich and you don’t add Sprite to your Maker’s Mark.  So why not try drinking the Gospel straight up for a change.

Cheers!

Where do we find a precept in the Bible for Creeds, Confessions, Doctrines and Oaths, and whole carloads of trumpery that we find religion encumbered with in these days?”- John Adams

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Vegannoyed


TOFU TURKEY

What an awful party. At least from my perspective, in the tiny kitchen.  I was covered in white crusts of hardened tempura batter.  My arms were burned from where faux sausage, popping and melting, splattered unduly in the hot pan.  Scorched fingertips desperately tried to turn the dry and crumbly little chickpea burgers that covered the flattop grill which, for some reason, wouldn’t survive the flip of my spatula.

Here is some food for thought: “To each his (or her) own. Live and let live. One’s pain is another’s pleasure. Let them eat cake. Man (etc) cannot live by bread alone.” But where’s the beef?

I am a rabid omnivore.  Meat AND potatoes, along with fish, poultry, milk, butter and cheese accompanied by the occasional vegetable, fruit or nut. Oh, and plenty of wine. Maybe some beer and a whiskey or two. Once in awhile.

Most of us are omnivores – I don’t know anyone who is really a carnivore, no matter how much they boast.  Maybe you won’t find any veggies in an Inuit’s igloo, but that’s not really by their choice.

But I do know a few vegetarians. I think. Vegetarianism can be confusing to the outsider. Heck, even vegetarians get confused -I know lots of ‘vegetarians’ who eat fish.  Some even eat poultry.  They seem to think that anything except beef and pork is in some way a ‘vegetable’.  (Because veggies are ‘healthy’ and so is chicken and fish, while red meat will kill ya, donchano?)

Of course there are stricter vegetarians out there who claim to eat no meat products at all, though you’ll find that they still eat cheese, drink milk and even fry the occasional egg (white). So, they won’t eat animals but they will eat things animals excrete. Eww! I think that these mixed up folk are the ones most of us think of when we think of vegetarians. Even though they are not.

Because the only authentic vegetarian is the vegan.  Absolutely nothing animal or made from an animal will pass through their lips (although honey is a kind of a grey area). No milk, eggs or butter.  Personally, I think this is just great. Bully for them. The more vegans out there, the more good stuff left for the rest of us to gorge ourselves on.  Live and let live, I say.

That was until last week, when I had the pleasure of catering a wedding in which the bride and groom were vegans while none of the guests were. Which resulted in a host of twisted food offerings that were intended to satisfy all palates as well as the sensibilities of the newlyweds.

Concessions were made and compromises agreed upon. Some of the fare was even not too bad. Not great but not awful.  Melted brie with almonds in little butter-free pastry shells (why cheese yet no butter?). Butter-free-duxelle-stuffed filo purses.  Grilled mini-chickpea burgers on cucumber slices and topped with dilled yogurt (more dairy). And of course fresh fruit, marinated olives and hummus are good any time.

But some of the food was not….food.  “Crab cakes” made from blended zucchini and mushrooms, held together with tahini and doused with turmeric and then deep fried. Grilled ‘chicken” tofu strips and very spicy (at least that helped) “andouilles sausage” made from….I’m not quite sure but it was very rubbery. (This type of faux meat product kind of reminds me of  cross dressers;  they might fool some people and even themselves, but it’s just so…dishonest.)

The worst part was trying to deep fry vegetables  in “tempura” using a batter made from rice-flour ,soda water and NO eggs.  The only thing the batter stuck to was the fry  basket and me.

So….I guess that I am no great fan of ‘vegan’ cuisine. Not that vegans themselves aren’t fine people – the newlyweds were, as far as I could tell, lovely and entertaining folk. And to be honest, everyone seemed to have a very good time (it helped that the M.O.B. insisted on some fresh shellfish to accompany the mock Paella).  But….to each his own. Let’s not waste too much time, effort or food trying to appease both culinary camps.  The combined result is much less desirable than each of our own distinctly, separate feasts might be.

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The Diary of a Dairy Lover: The Healthy Joys of Butter, Cream and Cheese


Mound of Butter, oil on canvas, 19 3/4 x 24 in. 1875

Mound of Butter by Antoine Vollon

Halleluiah ! My taste came back last week. In full force.  So, I am cooking again.

Last night, Ian, who is on leave from the Marine Corps, had a hankering for Fettuccine Alfredo.  Shocked, I said to him; “What?! Are you nuts?! Don’t you realize how bad that dish is for you?”

NOT! Thank God I have come back to my culinary senses, after spending 15 years in the purgatory of “healthy eating”.  Which, of course, is exactly the opposite of what it portends to be.  Crazy isn’t it? Not only do many of the popular “healthy” foodstuffs taste like crap, they’re killing us to boot.

So we went to the grocer and picked up what we needed for dinner, came home, threw it all together in less than 30 minutes and it was fabulous.  In a nutshell, here’s what  Ian, Bev and I ate:

2 pounds of boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into strips and dusted with cracked pepper, sea salt, cayenne, onion powder and garlic then thrown on the grill until the edges began to blacken and turn crispy.

We then placed the grilled chicken over the dressed pasta (no more whole grain, omega-3 and protein enhanced pastas for us-let’s be honest; they taste awful!)  The fettuccine was tossed in a sauce made up of one stick of butter, a half pint of heavy cream,  a quarter pound of Parmesan, three cloves of garlic,  a teaspoon of sea salt and one tablespoon of Liquid Crystal hot sauce.  Oh, and I greased the pan with lard first.  Not traditional, but not too shabby.  We washed it all down with a (real) cheap Pinot Gris. (And even had leftovers for the next day’s lunch).

I really can’t tell you how great it is to be enjoying good, simple food again, after years and years of egg whites, margarine, low-fat sour cream, skim milk and salt-substitutes. Not to mention the past two months with my taste buds all wacked out.

Please guys, life is too short.  If all you let yourselves eat is the fodder that the nutritionists, your doctor, the food conglomerates and those idiots at the Center for Science in the Public Interest tell you to eat then you won’t get anywhere near the joys out of life that you could have and should have.  Not only is it no fun eating these “healthy” foods prepared in “healthy” ways,  but your lives will probably end up even shorter.  Tell me if that doesn’t suck.

Take it from me, a guy who will never take flavor for granted again. Go watch “Julie and Julia” (or better yet, read the book). Indulge yourself and throw all that dietary guilt down the garbage disposal. When it comes to food, the only people in white coats whose advice you should be listening to are butchers, bakers and chefs.

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All My Taste Is In My Mouth? I Wish!


Is there a doctor in the house?! Or maybe someone else expert in physiology? Or maybe someone who has experienced something similar to what I am going through right now?

Because a funny thing happened to me two weeks ago;  I lost my taste.  Now before you start in with the jokes about my obviously pre-existing  lack of taste, let me jump in and tell you that  I seem to have primarily lost my ability to taste natural sugar. Which really sucks because it changes the flavor profile of just about everything with the exception of things like brussel sprouts, dandelion and chicory. (By the way, did you know that cats, from little kitties to big lions, can’t taste sweet either? Perhaps I should give Fancy Feast a try. Or a Thompson gazelle? )

And before anyone else suggests that I should have my nose checked out, I can smell just fine, thank you. (Please, no jokes!)  In fact, foods that are mostly tasted through the nose (like very dry Italian wines, coffee, kimche and boiled eggs) are even tolerable (if not quite palatable) to me.  Umami is good, when  it’s not linked to sweetness (such as with pine nuts, blue cheese and Parmesan) but we are not presented with many choices there.

Almost all beer is impossible (lots of maltose) although a recent triple hop IPA was marginally drinkable, but still not much more flavorful than your standard Budweiser. Even my beloved bone-in rib-eye (cowboy) steak tastes like cardboard soaked in Crisco. Celery still tastes like…celery. I feel like crying.

I have not been hit on the head,  struck ill,  had recent surgery or received radiation or chemo-therapy. I am not vitamin B-12 or zinc deficient.  I have not burned or cut my tongue.  I DID smoke the occasional cigar but have not done so since  this has happened. OK maybe a little more than occasionally, but not more than a couple of times a week and I have friends that have been two-packers-a-day for thirty years and they don’t have this problem.

What’s weird is that I CAN taste some artificial sweeteners like saccharine and Xylitol. But not Splenda, Equal or Nutrasweet.  Haven’t checked Stevia out yet.

It has been an enlightening (if rather unappetizing ) experience.  After having spent my entire life preparing and serving food I now understand the physiology of taste in a way that absolutely no cook (or text) book ever could convey it.  I don’t believe this will effect my career adversely – I remember recipes and can still read them,  I just need a taster by my side (anyone seen “Tortilla Soup”?) It may even be possible for me to explore new avenues in cooking.  Right now some of our cutting edge chefs are introducing bitter tasting foods on their menus, something that other culinary cultures are much more familiar with. Perhaps for me, bitter is better.

There is a silver lining to this gustatory cloud;  my appetite is so diminished that I’ve lost about ten pounds. This is the world’s most effective weight loss program. I’m pretty much convinced  that the biggest enticement to overeating is that food just tastes so damn good. (There is even an Indian herb and a pill made from it that claims to deaden your sense of taste and has allegedly helped people lose weight.) It’s convenient for me, I guess,that the foods that taste the worst right now are those containing the most sugars and simple carbs, the biggest contributors to weight gain (through insulin resistance). So maybe I really don’t want this problem fixed….Nah!  Good food is one of God’s greatest gifts, much more so than sex, fame, money or skinny-ness – believe me!

So, what the hell happened?  I know some of you folks have some understanding of the science behind food and eating. If anyone has any ideas or any suggestions….HELP!

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And Much Cattle?


HOLY COW 3

In the Robert Wise’s classic sci-fi movie, “The Day the Earth Stood Still”, an alien visits Washington DC with an important message for the world: repent of your evil ways or face annihilation from above.

Which sort of reminded me of the story of Jonah and his warning to Ninevah.  In the movie we never are told what the outcome was; did Earth learn it’s lesson or was it destroyed? But the Bible tells us that Ninevah did get its act together so God decided to spare it.

Now, Jonah couldn’t have been more disappointed. Cheated out of the excitement of another Sodom and Gomorrah fireworks display, he began to sulk.  Annoyed with his behavior, God points out that Ninevah was definitely worth saving.

And should not I spare Nineveh, that great city, wherein are more than six score thousand persons that cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand; and also much cattle?

Although these 120,000 Ninevites had sloppy handwriting and a poor sense of direction they had something that really made them special in God’s eyes: much cattle.

Once again, God shows that steak plays a major part in his divine plan.

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10 Things Your Doctor Doesn’t Know (or Won’t Tell You)


Happy Calories and Sad Calories

In an earlier post, Is Your Doctor Killing You? , I mentioned Gary Taubes’ excellent book “Good Calories, Bad Calories”. I just finished it and it is one of the most important books I have ever read. It’s a fairly deep and dense book,  filled with large amounts of scientific and epidemiological information. Rigorously researched,  full of citations and foot notes, it’s still a good read. Taubes is a skilled writer and knows how to keep things moving. In his epilogue, he lists the ten most important conclusions that his research has revealed, conclusions that he never expected to find.  In the spirit of “if only I had known then what I know now”,  I ‘d like to share this with you:

1. Dietary fat, whether saturated or not, is not a cause of obesity, heart disease, or any other chronic disease of civilization.

2.The problem is the carbohydrates in the diet, their effect on insulin secretion, and thus the hormonal regulation of homeostasis – the entire harmonic ensemble of the human body. The more easily digestible and refined the carbohydrates, the greater the effect on our health, weight and well being.

3. Sugars – sucrose and high-fructose corn syrup specifically – are particularly harmful, probably because the combination of fructose and glucose simultaneously elevates insulin levels while overloading the liver with carbohydrates.

4. Through their direct effect on insulin and blood sugar, refined carbohydrates, starches, and sugars are the dietary cause of coronary heart disease and diabetes, They are most likely dietary causes of cancer, Alzheimer’s disease, and the other chronic diseases of civilization.

5. Obesity is a disorder of excess fat accumulation, not overeating, and not sedentary behavior.

6. Consuming excess calories does not CAUSE us to grow fatter, any more than it causes a child to grow taller. Expending more energy than we consume does not lead to long-term weight loss; it leads to hunger.

7. Fattening and obesity are caused by an imbalance-a disequilibrium-in the hormonal regulation of adipose tissue and fat metabolism. Fat synthesis and storage exceeds the mobilization of fat from the adipose tissue and its subsequent oxidation. We become leaner when the hormonal regulation of fat tissues reverses this balance.

8. Insulin is the primary regulator of fat storage. When insulin levels are elevated- either chronically or after a meal- we accumulate fat in our fat tissue. When insulin levels fall, we release fat from our fat tissue and use it as fuel.

9. By stimulating insulin secretion, carbohydrates make us fat and ultimately cause obesity. The fewer carbohydrates we consume, the leaner we will be.

10. By driving fat accumulation, carbohydrates also increase hunger and decrease the amount of energy we expend in metabolism and physical activity.

(page 454 “Good Calories, Bad Calories” by Gary Taubes)

The most convincing evidence for these conclusions is the fact that so many of us are fat, hungry, and even sick, no matter how hard we try to follow our doctor’s advice concerning diet and exercise.  Or if we are at times successful, why does it never seem to last? Is this an issue of physiology or psychology? Are we really all that lazy and gluttonous, as the nutritionists and doctor’s would have us believe?  Really?

As for me, I worked my ass off (and on) for over 15 years trying to stay healthy by following the conventional medical establishment’s advice.  Now that I’ve decided to ignore the ‘experts’ and return to a diet more like our hunter-gatherer bodies are designed for, I’m finally seeing significant success.  And guess what? It’s EASY!

To those skeptics out there (and skepticism is good, or else I would still be convinced of the benefit of following the USDA  dietary paradigms) I give you one word of advice: QUESTION YOUR DOCTOR! And then ask him to read this book

Think about it.

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