God told me to tell y’all to shut up about God

Because really, it’s the cheapest and sneakiest of political tricks:

“You may think that because you made me change my mind, that you got the win, but I believe that God always gets the win, and he wanted me right here where I am, where I’ve been very successful,” – Joyce Kaufman

“When we’re talking about firearms, we’re not really talking about a right but an obligation, as creatures of God, to protect the life that was given them.” – Larry Pratt, Executive Director, Gun Owners of America

“Being a strong Christian, I cannot help but believe the Lord placed a lot of minerals in our country and it’s not there to destroy us.” — Lisa Deaton, founder of We the People Indiana

“I read my Bible. He made this earth for us to utilize.” — Norman Dennison, founder of the Corydon Tea Party

”During the primary, I heard the audible voice of God. He said, ‘Credibility.’ It wasn’t a thought in my head. I thought it meant I was going to win. But after the primary, I got credibility.”- Christine O’Donnell

“No, I don’t know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God.” -George Bush

“I want you to let a wave of hatred wash over you. Yes, hate is good . . . our goal is a Christian nation. We have the biblical duty, we are called on by God to conquer this country. We don’t want equal time. We don’t want pluralism” -Randall Terry, Operation Rescue

“The Bible is the authoritative Word of God and contains all truth” – Bill Clinton

“God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, ‘Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It’s yours.’ ” – Ann Coulter

“He was praying over me, he’s praying, ‘Lord make a way, Lord make a way…’ And I’m thinking, this guy’s really bold, he doesn’t even know what I’m gonna do, he doesn’t know what my plans are, and he’s praying not, ‘Oh Lord, if it be your will may she become governor,’ or whatever. No, he just prayed for it. He said, ‘Lord, make a way, and let her do this next step.’ And that’s exactly what happened.” – Sarah Palin

“Our national leaders are sending U.S. soldiers on a task that is from God.”- Sarah Palin

“The problem is that God is giving The Plan, I think, to me …I think the plan that the Lord would have us follow is hard for people to understand. But I’m telling you, here’s what I feel with everything in me. – Glenn Beck

“This is America, God has sent one of the attacks by God and has attacked one of its best buildings. And this is America filled with fear from the north, south, east and west, thank God.” -Osama bin Laden

“God has revealed to me that those doing battle for Allah and our country and meet death will immediately go to Heaven” – the Ayatollah Khomeini

“God is on our side, and Satan is on the side of the United States.” -Saddam Hussein

“Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord.” -Adolph Hitler

“I can’t understand how all this can have happened, it’s enough to make one lose one’s faith in God!” -Eva Braun (in the bunker)

You can say that again, Eva.


  1. #1 by logiopathivorytowerdweller on November 15, 2010 - 1:24 pm

    Ah. So you admit we really don’t know.

    You have corrupted me more than I thought.

  2. #2 by Alex on November 17, 2010 - 11:12 am

    whatever happened to Judge’s Bench?

    • #3 by Christian Beyer on November 17, 2010 - 11:23 am

      Ahh, Alex, my sincere apologies. As soon as we got back from vacation I landed another part-time job just as the Scotch gigs began picking up for the holidays and I started an accelerated college course (that I needed to have completed by the end of the year to keep my teaching certificate). Then my dad went into the hospital, he’s still there, they don’t know what’s wrong with him (he’s 82) except he needs to remain on oxygen.

      So… I don’t think I’m going to have any free time until after November 29th, when my class ends. Sorry for not getting back to you. But an evening off with some cold beer and good conversation sounds even more inviting than before. My friend (and pastor) Heather said she would be up for it as well, as we kind of have a ‘theology pub’ thing going on now and then.

  3. #4 by Alex on November 18, 2010 - 10:58 am


    No problem at all. My heart goes out to your father. Please let me know if there is anything your family needs at all that would help him.

    Shoot me an email whenever you want to grab a drink.

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