1 .God is a perfect God.
2. He made the world and everything in it, including us.
3. But he made it imperfect.
4. But he still loves his creation.
5. God is also an angry God who is easily offended
6. From the beginning, we are all depraved and have offended God.
7. And though he loves us, God is also just and demands punishment for the wicked (which is all of us).
8. Since God is infinite then our offense against him is infinite (even though we are finite – don’t worry about the math) and we can never pay our way out of our predicament.
9. So we deserve God’s justice, which, unfortunately, is to send us to suffer in Hell for all eternity. Even babies. For our own good. Because he loves us. (It’s a mystery, don’t ask why. Who do you think you are, anyway? God?)
10. Because he loves us he must be fair to us. After all, he is just. Since we really chose Hell for our ultimate destination (always read the fine print) if he cut us any slack then he would not be respecting our choices. And what kind of love is that?
11. But God is also a sensitive God.
12. And God is Love. He told us so.
13. He doesn’t want to send any of us to hell – it saddens him. Especially the babies.
14. But our sin still requires some sort of sacrifice, preferably a blood sacrifice, to balance the books. Because God is really, really just. He demands perfect justice because he has no choice but to do so, even if he is omnipotent. He’s so perfect he just can’t look the other way. Some one has to pay the bill.
15. Except that, since we are imperfect, sacrificing our puny selves would be an imperfect sacrifice to a perfect God to pay off an infinite bill. You can see the problem there.
16. But he finds a loop hole in his own set of laws. ( He should’ve seen that coming.)
17. And decides to send Jesus, his only “Son”, to Earth as a man and have him die in order to pay the price for our sins. This is called Grace.
18. Since Jesus is without sin, only he can possibly be worthy of being sacrificed in our place. Since he’s perfect then his sacrifice was perfect and pleasing to God.
19. But…what kind of God would sacrifice his only Son? And be pleased by it? That’s not very nice. And not too just, either, since Jesus is innocent.
20. Ah ha! We forget that Jesus is also God! So in effect, when God sacrifices Jesus he also sacrifices himself. It’s like God picked up the tab himself. Which, you have to admit, is pretty nifty. Now that God/Jesus has paid the bill we don’t owe anything! This is called forgiveness.
21. But how can this be? How can Jesus and the Father both be God at the same time?
22. So somebody found out that God was Binitarian – one God who is also two persons. Tricky, but somewhat conceivable.
23. Except Jesus talked about God’s spirit like it was another person, not just a thing. (He does, doesn’t he?) And if Jesus is now God he must be omniscient so this “holy spirit” must be another person, too. But what kind of person?
24. So we added the Holy Spirit (Ghost) to the Holy Binity to create the Holy Trinity. More tricky and not so easily conceivable.
25. But God (or someone) said that everyone must believe that God consists of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit or they cannot follow Jesus. No exceptions. Everyone else can just go to Hell.
There, now. Simple. Anyone have any problems with that?
(Disclaimer: the thoughts expressed above are not the author’s but those of what many consider to be orthodox authority. If they had been real thoughts you would have been advised to seek shelter in the nearest basement and tune into your local Trinity Broadcasting Network for further instructions.)