The Diary of a Dairy Lover: The Healthy Joys of Butter, Cream and Cheese

Mound of Butter, oil on canvas, 19 3/4 x 24 in. 1875

Mound of Butter by Antoine Vollon

Halleluiah ! My taste came back last week. In full force.  So, I am cooking again.

Last night, Ian, who is on leave from the Marine Corps, had a hankering for Fettuccine Alfredo.  Shocked, I said to him; “What?! Are you nuts?! Don’t you realize how bad that dish is for you?”

NOT! Thank God I have come back to my culinary senses, after spending 15 years in the purgatory of “healthy eating”.  Which, of course, is exactly the opposite of what it portends to be.  Crazy isn’t it? Not only do many of the popular “healthy” foodstuffs taste like crap, they’re killing us to boot.

So we went to the grocer and picked up what we needed for dinner, came home, threw it all together in less than 30 minutes and it was fabulous.  In a nutshell, here’s what  Ian, Bev and I ate:

2 pounds of boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into strips and dusted with cracked pepper, sea salt, cayenne, onion powder and garlic then thrown on the grill until the edges began to blacken and turn crispy.

We then placed the grilled chicken over the dressed pasta (no more whole grain, omega-3 and protein enhanced pastas for us-let’s be honest; they taste awful!)  The fettuccine was tossed in a sauce made up of one stick of butter, a half pint of heavy cream,  a quarter pound of Parmesan, three cloves of garlic,  a teaspoon of sea salt and one tablespoon of Liquid Crystal hot sauce.  Oh, and I greased the pan with lard first.  Not traditional, but not too shabby.  We washed it all down with a (real) cheap Pinot Gris. (And even had leftovers for the next day’s lunch).

I really can’t tell you how great it is to be enjoying good, simple food again, after years and years of egg whites, margarine, low-fat sour cream, skim milk and salt-substitutes. Not to mention the past two months with my taste buds all wacked out.

Please guys, life is too short.  If all you let yourselves eat is the fodder that the nutritionists, your doctor, the food conglomerates and those idiots at the Center for Science in the Public Interest tell you to eat then you won’t get anywhere near the joys out of life that you could have and should have.  Not only is it no fun eating these “healthy” foods prepared in “healthy” ways,  but your lives will probably end up even shorter.  Tell me if that doesn’t suck.

Take it from me, a guy who will never take flavor for granted again. Go watch “Julie and Julia” (or better yet, read the book). Indulge yourself and throw all that dietary guilt down the garbage disposal. When it comes to food, the only people in white coats whose advice you should be listening to are butchers, bakers and chefs.


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  1. #1 by ambrosia on September 2, 2009 - 8:57 pm

    You’re a cook?

    I didn’t know that (and neither do the kids at You Know Where).

    • #2 by Christian Beyer on September 2, 2009 - 11:13 pm

      Hmm. Let’s see. I’ll betcha that more of my ‘students’ actually digest what I feed them than yours do. But you are right. I rarely feed them anything requiring great thought. Do you?

  2. #3 by ambrosia on September 3, 2009 - 9:09 pm

    Well, I had to do some explaining of what I thought were simple concepts–I think it had something to do with Voice and Tone, but I don’t remember. I just had to re-explain something.

    Today I tried to explain supply and demand, in regards to gas prices
    (how the oil companies and station owners set the price of gas, and not the government).

  3. #5 by John Shore on September 7, 2009 - 3:19 am

    YES! I knew there was a reason I love you.

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