American Gospel: The Parable of the Strong Goats and the Weak Sheep

American Goathic  2

American Goat Hicks

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the goats on his right and the sheep on his left.

Then the King will say to the goats, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you fed me with holy words, I was thirsty and you took away my strong drink. I was a stranger and you set high standards for friendship, I needed clothes and you shamed me in my nakedness then gave me  your castoffs, I was sick and you told me to pray for healing, I was in prison and you said it was what I deserved.’

hippy sheep

Damn Hippy Sheep

The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whenever you admonished the least of these brothers of mine, you made my job easier.’

Then he will say to the sheep, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you only gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing but drink, I was a stranger and you  only invited me in, I needed clothes and you took me shopping, I was sick and in prison and all  you did was visit with me.’

‘I tell you the truth, whenever you spent your worldly efforts on one of the least of these you pushed them even farther away from salvation.’

Then the weak and soft sheep will go away to eternal punishment, but the strong and righteous goats to eternal life.

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  1. #1 by Steve on May 21, 2009 - 8:17 pm

    Funny, but my Scripture doesn’t read that way. Tolerate the goats, that’s what I say. That way no one will feel uncomfy. Certainly wouldn’t want to make someone feel bad by pointing out eternal standards or anything…

    • #2 by Christian Beyer on May 21, 2009 - 10:08 pm

      Of course I agree with you, Steve. Those standards do make most of us feel uncomfortable. Standards of service, forgiveness, self-sacrifice, unconditional love – Jesus sure set the bar rather high.

  2. #3 by Steve B on May 22, 2009 - 2:26 am

    So, I don’t get it. Is meeting their felt needs a good thing or a bad thing?

  3. #4 by Steve B on May 22, 2009 - 2:47 am

    Actually, James Chapt. 2 is pretty clear support for the service ethic you describe.

    Without works of service, our faith is dead. We are like those white sepulchures, outwardly pious, but inwardly corrupted.

    “Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.”

  4. #5 by logiopath on May 22, 2009 - 3:46 pm

    Again, Chris, you discriminate against those with short hair and pointy horns.

  5. #6 by Bruce Sechrest on January 24, 2010 - 12:59 pm

    i cannot believe that no one has caught this….

    pants on the ground
    pants on the ground
    looking like a fool
    hat turned sidways
    with your pants on the ground

    goats on the right
    sheep on the left…
    Bible turned sideways

    looking like a fool

    with the goats on the right….

    Matt 25:32 and before him shall be gathered all the nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as the shepherd separateth the sheep from the goats;

    25:33 and he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.

    • #7 by Mr. Holland on January 24, 2010 - 2:09 pm

      Uh…thanks, Bruce. But you might want to look up because something just flew right over your head. Let me explain: I intentionally switched the sheep with the goat to point out how conventional, traditional, conservative Christianity has decided to ignore Jesus’ message here. It’s their ‘sideways’ reading of this story that has turned it into a preaching on the existence of Hell.

      Now you can look back down and see who really has their ‘pants on the ground’.

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