Damn. Another fool for Christ caught looking like a fool. Period.

Republican Congresswoman, Michele Bachmann, claims she is a “Fool for Christ”, whatever the hell that  means. But this is how she explains what it means to her:

“If I felt that’s what the Lord was calling me to do, I would do it,” she answered. “When I have sensed that the Lord is calling me to do something, I’ve said yes to it. “

Which means she must hear the Lord calling her to lie. Because on Good Morning America this ex-tax attorney, who used to work for the IRS, told a whopper:

“Well, remember again what this is. It’s a massive tax increase, and it’s on the people who are the job creators,” Bachmann said. “And people want to think that these are millionaires, sitting in leather chairs, lighting their cigars with $100 bills. That’s not what we’re talking about. These are people who, who are carpet layers who maybe employ two or three other guys, or a plumber, maybe himself and his brother, and it’s $250,000 in gross sales for their business. They’re the ones that are looking at massive tax increases.”

Which is total crap, and of course, she knows it. She’s an expert. The proposed increase (which is not really an increase, only a return to an old rate after the temporary tax cut has expired) is on all those who earn over $250,000 in adjusted income, business owners or not. This is after all itemized deductions including mortgages, business expenses and other legal shelters. So what we are really talking about here are people who make way more than a quarter million bucks a year. Now maybe the Christian counseling center she and her husband own (which receives Federal entitlement dollars, by the way) makes that much moolah but not too many carpet layers and plumbers do. At least not in her home state of Minnesota. Most of these folks are doctors, lawyers, bankers, corporate executives and university professors. Not job creators.

Now I expect most politicians to lay down a line of bullshit every once and awhile (or at least once a day). But this little lady is a Born-Again, Bible thumpin’, 10 Commandment preachin’ Fool for Christ. Right? The same Christ that said the rich should hold on to as much of their money as possible to give poor people an incentive to work harder so they might land a sweet job working for the government with a side line taking advantage of other people’s religious psycho-superstitions with the help of Federal subsidies.

How freakin’ embarrassing for those of us who might still want to call ourselves Christian. Congress is looking more and more like the Temple that Jesus lost his temper in. If only the Neo-Evangelicals were right and he was coming back any day now. Some people are going to look mighty foolish.

Swedish IXθYΣ

Funny, he doesn’t look Jewish. Well, at least he’s not a shwartzer.

Jesus as whispy-bearded metro-sexual with fashion cross

Jesus as Las Vegas mentalist with novelty tee-shirt

Jesus with puppy dog eyes

Gen-X Jesus with poor fashion sense and weird forked Amish beard

Creepy little prince Jesus. What's with the fingers? Again with the fingers!

Pop-up Jesus Golden Book

"Dirty damn Pharisees!" Charleston Heston as Jesus

Damien Thorn as Jesus with black robed acolyte

"Let whoever is stoned cast the first...uh...hmm. Anymore of that matzoh?"

Jesus the pained

Jesus as knick-knack

Jesus in the attic until next year

Jesus as the starship Enterpise's first captain

Jesus as Son of Zeus (That hat is a bit of a brag-tag, wouldn't you say?) And yet again with the fingers!

That last one’s my favorite. Funny thing is, Jesus must have looked more like (and had more in common with) an Arab Muslim  than he would a Christian Swede (or any Westerner). He might even have looked a little bit like the fellow pictured below.  Do you find this idea offensive? Then perhaps you should reconsider your icons.

Know the truth and the truth, not religious fantasy, will set you free.

Religious fantasy? You're not talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?!

Ask Dr. Leviticus

This letter is old news. But, since I’m always a day late and a dollar short, I just now discovered it. (Gary Wills reprints this letter in his book “What Jesus Meant”. ) Google suggests that it first appeared as a response to something that Dr. Laura Schlessinger said about homosexuality on her radio show a few years back. So, if you’ve seen this before (which you probably have) then I apologize for being off the pace. But if you haven’t, then enjoy. It’s pretty funny. And oh, so true about so many of us, other than Dr. Laura. But remember people, it’s satire.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger was a radio personality who once said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident]

Dear Doctor:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from you, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own a Canadian?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should ask the police to do it?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Thank you,
Jim